Stepping Into Your Power with Leo Kalyan
by Blair Imani
Read this in the FEMINIST ZINE
Independent singer-songwriter and artist, Leo Kalyan unapologetically breaks barriers and sparks poignant conversations through music. Leo was also among the first South Asian musicians in the world to publicly come out as gay and non-binary. Living boldly and openly isn't enough for Leo--they also want to manifest a world in which everyone has the opportunity to boldly and safely live as themselves. As an artist, Leo has been praised by LGBTQ+ icons like Elton John and RuPaul. Known for soft, soulful vocals and poetic lyricism infused with classical Indian vocal training, each of Leo's songs embrace community, queer power, rebirth and discovering one's own inner strength. After a three year hiatus from social media, Leo Kalyan returned to claim their throne as a gender liberated, gay, South Asian singer-songwriter with viral videos of pop music hits remixed with compelling and ethereal classical Indian vocals. I had the honor of sitting down with Leo at his home in London, UK to discuss femininity, culture, and of course, music.
Blair Imani: As Head of Education at FEMINIST I’m charged with inviting people into a feminist mindset and awareness. Over the course of the pandemic many people unlocked a new understanding within themselves about how to embrace an affirming relationship with their own femininity. I have seen you have this transformation as well. How has embracing femininity played a role in your own self expression? Does this cross over into your music?
Leo Kalyan: So, I would say that my femininity is something I spent my whole life suppressing or trying to minimize because I was bullied for it so much at school. Growing up, I was made to feel like my femininity was something to be embarrassed of. I was mocked for it, and made fun of it — made fun of for it, and I — I think that embracing it as an adult has been one of the most powerful things that I’ve ever done, and it really has allowed me to step into my confidence in a way that I never imagined that it even could. Because it was about getting comfortable with myself in a really fundamental way, and turning something that was once considered a weakness, by myself, because of the way that, you know, this patriarchal society, and just generally how toxic masculinity sort of makes you feel like femininity is something to be embarrassed of, it’s a weakness, it’s something that’s lesser-than, you know. Stepping into it has allowed me to step into my power and confidence in completely unparalleled ways. And that’s completely crossed over into my music as well, because I’ve been able to be more confident in my music and present myself in a more confident, authentic, and honest way, in my songwriting, as well as in my visuals, as well as in the way that I dress and present myself. So, truly, it’s helped me to become a more confident being and a more honest creator, and a more genuine lyricist and performer. And I think that — I think that that has shown in the way that audiences have responded to me, and in the fact that it’s only through embracing my femininity that I think people started to connect with my work, because a vulnerability and honesty appeared in my work. None of this is anything I could have known without doing it, you know? And it was very much a journey over the pandemic that I went on, which you obviously witnessed as well, and, yeah. It’s been really empowering and really beautiful, and I’m really grateful to have found the courage to do it because I never thought that I would.
Blair: In 2020, many people around the world first "discovered" the insidious nature of racism following the brutal murder of George Floyd. In the US we called this "racial reckoning." We saw this in major cities around the world and of course, we saw this online. As a result, so many industries have done a complete 180 in terms of what they consider to be marketable. Instead of listening to artists that sideline their racial and cultural backgrounds, audiences are clamoring for authentic representation in their music. What made you decide to include your classical Indian vocal training more prominently in your music? What has the response been like?
Leo: Much like my femininity, my South Asian heritage and my Indian classical vocal training — these were both things that I grew up feeling slightly embarrassed of, because they’re things that I was mocked for and made fun of for growing up at school. And in — Western music there’s so few examples of South Asian artists — Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi — heritage artists who are doing well on the global stage, other than M.I.A and now, in recent years, a couple of others. M.I.A, Jay Sean, there’s very, very few others who’ve succeeded. And, you know, the stereotypes that exist about South Asian people in Western cinema and television, like, they’re so limited, and they make you view yourself in a limited way, and you kind of don’t really see the power of your own culture until you truly immerse yourself in it properly and embrace it. And it’s ironic that I spent so many years of my life training in Indian classical singing and then underutilizing it in my own music. But, it was really the confidence that I got through embracing my own femininity, you know, it went hand in hand with, over the pandemic, spending time really working on my craft and working on my Indian classical singing again because it’s something I’d neglected for the past few years, because I just didn’t see the value in it anymore. But the pandemic allowed me to, like, have a space and time where I could focus on my voice again, and then when I started making TikToks, and I came back onto social media, and started doing the Bollywood/pop mashups, which have gone viral this year, you know, that made me realize, “Wow, there really is an audience for this.” Much wider than just South Asian audiences, because there’s people listening to what I do now from all parts of the world, all ages, all — all ethnicities, all sexualities, and it’s been a really humbling thing to see such enthusiasm and fanfare around what I do, especially around — especially around the Indian classical singing. And it made me really realize that the things that I was most embarrassed of, or most scared to kind of show and share, those things became my superpowers, and the response has been amazing, and I’m just truly humbled.
Blair: One of your best friends and collaborators is Nigerian British artist and queer icon MNEK. Together you two have written platinum hits and more profoundly than sharing your successes you have also shared struggle. The theme of finding an internal sense of self worth regardless of your surrounding circumstances shines through in your new hit, Diamond Life. Tell us more about the message behind the song.
Leo: “Diamond Life” is very much a song about finding your inner strength and your inner light and learning to shine from within, and really realizing that happiness, joy, success, confidence, and power, really comes from being able to connect with that inner sense of strength. And there’s nothing in this world that can give you that belief in yourself. There’s nothing in the world that can imbue you with a sense of courage and make you feel like a diamond. Like, that comes from within. That power comes from within. Because the diamond life really is inside of you. We think that we need to achieve things, or own things, or earn things in order to, like, have our best life, and live our best life, but actually, the — your best life comes from having the best people around you, and having a life that’s full of love, and having the confidence to be who you are. And this leads on really nicely from what I was saying about the pandemic being a time where I was able to go on this transformational journey of accepting my femininity, or really reconnecting with my craft and my Indian classical singing, which really brought me back to who I was. But, not just who I was, but the most powerful version of who I am, and who I always was. And that’s what the “Diamond Life” is about, and it means so much to also be able to release this song with one of my best friends MNEK, who is someone who I’ve collaborated with for many, many years, but we’ve never released any music together. And, you know, he really did teach me that the diamond life comes from within me. It’s a lesson that I’ve learned from him. And that’s why it’s just so meaningful to be able to share my story and my journey with my best friend who is another queer person of color. So, I feel very humbled.
Blair: There are countless artists who have yet to come out and countless others who have and whose trajectory has shifted slightly due to the industry's relentless anti-LGBTQ+ bias. Throughout your career you have been openly gay, and recently you have come out as nonbinary. What keeps you motivated as LGBTQ+ artists continue to be marginalized? And what is your advice to people who fear rejection in pursuing their dreams?
Leo: I would say that, as someone who spent many, many years of their life trying to be somebody else, and trying to deflect from my authentic self, that it gets you nowhere. And if you want to be a true artist, you have to face and embrace who you are, in every single sense. That’s the only way that you can be a real artist. So whether or not we are marginalized, we have to just go on the journey of becoming our most powerful selves. And only through becoming our most powerful selves can we be successful, in any sense. So, what keeps me motivated is probably that sense, that it doesn’t matter what accolades the world gives me or doesn’t give me. I know that this journey of becoming my most powerful self, and my most authentic self, is the journey that I need to go on to be the best artist that I can be. And if the world happens to resonate with that, happy days. And if not, then at least I’ve lived my truth, you know? So that, really, is what keeps me motivated. And my advice to people who fear rejection is…fears are there to be overcome. So if you’re scared of something, I say rush at it, because that’s what I’ve done. Every time something scares me, I’m like, you know what? Fuck this. I’m gonna jump head first into this, and figure out a way to swim. And I always have been able to come back up to the surface and swim across the ocean to get to the other side. And it’s hard, it’s not easy, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and nothing easy is worth having. If it’s easy, then we usually don’t even want it. So [laughs] I would say don’t be scared, and if you are scared, that’s a good thing, so keep on going.